Have you been there?
Instead of finding yourself in prayer, you find yourself wondering where God is in the pain. You can become calloused, or bitter and angry. You may wonder if there is a God at all.
Hebrews 11:1 says, Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see.
You can give up on God. You can walk away and live a life of moderate meaning dictated by relative truths and comparisons to others on what is “good” or “right”.
No longer having the Bible as the basis of truth, you’re left with candy-coated emptiness. Your value is found outside of why you were created.
Your conscience at first may be clearer because you have set your moral compass to point any direction the wind blows. Absolutes are dictated by feelings, or by what society approves of for the moment.
The detriment is, the world’s view of right or wrong changes from day to day.
God is truth, and His ways are always best and do not change.
When you operate outside the reality of God as ultimate truth and meaning, life becomes based on ideas of personal control. This leads to bitterness, or insecurity, or a need to manipulate, control, and find meaning in others.
The working out of your faith finds you struggling to see God in your life. You think God might be there, but you don’t know if you believe the hype anymore. Hours, days, or months are spent questioning.
Questioning is fine, if you are actively seeking for answers.
I was at the point I felt like I couldn’t even pray. I remember sobbing asking God to just help me talk to Him. I wasn’t doubting the existence of God as much as I was wondering where He was in the circumstances.
I had quiet times. I went to church. But life happened and my heart was being squeezed dry. My mind was having a hard time making sense of all the pressure. God hadn’t moved. I hadn’t moved. Yet my faithfulness was an empty void.
Instead of focusing on our faithfulness, or lack thereof, let’s look at God’s faithfulness towards us.
2 Timothy 2:13 says, …If we are faithless,he remains faithful,for he cannot disown himself.
God can handle it when our faith is empty. Just because you have lost your way doesn’t mean God has lost His way to you.
God is and will always be faithful in his love, mercy, and calling out to us to come to Him. His desire is for us to walk through life with Him.
God won’t beg you to be with him. If you don’t want him in your life, he will stay out. Part of true love is that it is not forced on you. However, the God of love is always waiting with open arms for you to run to him if you begin to see who He is. Dig deep into God’s word, and seek counsel from those who have been there before you.
His word is light, and when you search for him and his ways in his word, you will see clearly. Don’t give up. Ask others to pray for you. Have an open spirit, and take this to heart…
When you seek me, you will find me, provided you seek for me wholeheartedly.Jeremiah 29:13
This verse rang true for me. Looking back, although it was one of the hardest times in my life, it also was one of the sweetest times spiritually. God’s faithfulness became clear. I gained a deeper understanding of His character. And if you seek, you will find Him too.